“I’ll Do It Later” (And Sometimes… I Wasn’t There at All) present as a parent matters

“I’ll do it later.”

I used to say that a lot.

But if I’m being honest…
there were long stretches where “later” wasn’t even an option.

I worked as a contractor, on call 24/7.
Out of town more than I was home.

70… sometimes 90 percent of the time during parts of Harper’s life,
I just wasn’t there.

And while I was gone, my wife carried everything.

The appointments.
The hard days.
The moments I should’ve been part of.

She showed up in ways I didn’t have the chance to.

And for a long time, I told myself that’s just how it had to be.

I was providing.
Doing what I needed to do.

But that doesn’t change something I’ve had to come to terms with:

There were moments I missed that I’ll never get back.

Not big, dramatic ones.

Small ones.

The kind that don’t seem important at the time…
but end up meaning everything.

And now, when I catch myself saying,
“I’ll do it later,”

It hits differently.

Because I know what “later” can turn into.

Sometimes it turns into “missed.”

Not because you didn’t care.

But because life moved on without you.

I can’t go back and fix that.

But I can choose differently now.

To be more present.
To slow down.
To catch the small moments when they’re happening—
instead of assuming they’ll be there later.

Because the truth is…

Later isn’t promised.

And the moments that matter most
don’t wait.